21 Life Lessons in 21 Years
Disclaimer: I took this idea from Johnny Harris, and great artists don’t receive inspiration -- they steal.
1. Life is more fun sober.
Hear me out on this one. I am a 21-year-old who has never taken a drink of alcohol, smoked weed, or used any of that god awful vapor syrup. I know that makes me sound like the antithesis of a normal college student, and it would be a fairly accurate assertion. But something about taking life sober, facing the music, no matter how hard or painful it can be, has become a superpower for me. I don’t use it as a coping mechanism or to assimilate into the general college population. I would much rather be sitting on my bed reading than out on the streets getting plastered, but hey: everyone must have a distraction from life. Mine is other people, not inebriating chemicals.
2. It is okay to not be okay.
I am not a mental health professional, and struggle with my mental health more than average college students. I learned the hard way that you shouldn’t always act like you’re “fine”. If you aren’t okay, then you are not okay. And that is okay. No one should feel like they have to be positive and upbeat 24/7, but I do generally feel that positivity can help you through tough situations.
3. Go to the movies alone.
Weird one, but it is just a metaphor for social independence. If you are bored and are wanting something to do, don’t text anyone. Simply get in your car and go watch a movie. The experience is really top tier if it is late at night. The feeling of being alone with a movie in an empty theatre is so intimate, it’s like never few other things. When you do it for the first time, it is just like a runner’s high. Something about it feels so damn good, even if it feels weird.
4. Be thankful for what you have.
I will make this one short. If someone goes out of their way for you, thank them. Written notes really do a wonderful job of displaying this gratitude, and never few take the time to curate them.
5. You may die.
I am really out here with this one, I am well aware. If you know me, this wouldn’t surprise you. You could die, so you might as well live.
6. Everybody wants to rule the world.
Just like the Tears For Fears song, everyone wants to impact the world. Be the person who actually does.
7. Find something to keep you active.
Whether it is walking every day, or something more taxing like running or weight training. Your body is a ~ temple ~ or so those fitness gurus say. But I really do feel so much better, and sleep so much better as well, while I am active. You really do feel better, and I can’t explain it but if you know, you know.
8. If a girl is into astrology, run the other way.
This may be one of the more controversial items, but I am serious. I can forgive political differences even in these devise times, but I can’t deal with moon cycles.
9. If you’re living to post on social media, you need to delete it ALL.
If you can’t live without something, then you’re under its control. Meaning, if you can’t delete social media for at least a week, you’re addicted. And the only way to cure the social media addiction, is to throw away all the needles and quit cold turkey. I am serious. If you are struggling with your social media usage, delete it all, right now. Like literally, do it right this moment. There is no time like the present. Don’t let it ruin your life.
10. Don’t be a dick.
As a general rule of thumb, you should always try and be kind to others. You never really know what others are going through, and the last thing they want to deal with is your crappy mood. Only be a dick to those who are a dick to you, and really, I don’t suggest that either.
11. Take photos.
I am still working on this one. But the brain does a mediocre job of recalling memories. Having photos or reminders to jog the noggin of your found memories is a great idea. Bonus points if they are film photos.
12. Life is short
Sometimes you have to say, “What the hell,” and go for it. Go to that concert, go skinny dipping, go buy that painting you always stop and stare at.
13. Life is long
This may seem oxymoronic after number 12, but I mean it. Don’t feel like you must accomplish all of your life goals tomorrow, or even in a month. Life is a process, and don’t rush it to the point you can’t stop and savor its glory.
14. Read.
This one gets passed over by the college population, and everyone is consumed in other activities or is too tired of reading their class material. I get that, but I also don’t. Reading to learn is like no other feeling. If you don’t like to read, and I am really going to sound like a 3rd grade English teacher here, you just haven’t found the right book/genre yet. Reading is knowledge, and knowledge is power.
15. Be a reciprocator.
If people are willing to take the time to get to know you, take the time to get to know them. Relationships are all about effort, and you get what you give. Don’t late great people walk out of your life because you didn’t show enough effort to keep them there. Likewise, if others are giving you the bare minimum, show them the door.
16. Find an outlet.
Everyone needs a creative outlet. For the artistically inclined, they can paint beautiful landscapes that rival the best sights on earth. Some can write a novel that would even bring the most stoic to tears. You might not have that ability, but it is important to express yourself through some avenue. Whether that be fashion, fine art, photography, just find something to put your soul into.
17. Go see something.
This one is going to be very straightforward, if you are sitting in your house/apartment all day, you need to get out more. The world is a beautiful place, and amazing sights always lay right by your feet. You just have to go looking.
18. Everyone is everyone.
This is going to sound abstract, and quite pretentious, but everyone is everyone. We are all connected in some metaphysical way. We are all humans, but we are humans together.
19. Loves in need of love today.
Just like the intro track off Steve Wonder’s 1976 Songs in the Key of Life, one could argue that love is in need of love today. Bear with me for a moment. The concept of loving others has garnered such a negative connotation today. Love is associated with mistrust, heartbreak, and other negative emotions by many today. While those are potential outcomes, they are far overshadowed by the possible benefit of loving yourself and others: freedom. Freedom from the shackles of the mundane minutiae of daily life. Freedom from the feeling of our biggest epidemic – loneliness. Loving yourself and others is a great thing, and we need to start loving the process more than we currently do.
20. The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships.
If you want to skip the read for this one, watch this Ted Talk. But I am a firm believer that the connections you maintain with others have profound impacts on your life. If you don’t take the time to develop trusting relationships with companions, your life will be miserable. Even the most anti-social people need some connection with other humans. You have to have people you trust and rely on. You know the feeling of not having anyone to turn to, and it sucks, big time. Take the time to invest in those relationships now, as they will last a lifetime.
21. Be the person you want to be.
I struggled with what to put for this last one. As the penultimate, I knew it had to be killer. Honestly, it is quite simple, but is by far the most important. Be the person that you want to be. If you want to be the world’s wealthiest person, then make that your identity. If you want to be President of the United States, the be the person who is going to be a future president. This is very simple in theory but is much harder in practice for most. Your identity is what you make it. You have control over the person you become, so be a good one. Go change the world, but most importantly – be the person who is going to change the world.
Thank you for reading my thoughts. If you disagree, respectfully write them on a sheet of paper and light it with a BBQ lighter in the sink, because I don’t care. But I do appreciate you taking the time to read this. I am glad you are alive.